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What happens when your partner doesn't see the value in you and continuously hurts you by searching for something in others knowing it hurts you?

Last Updated: 21.06.2025 08:31

What happens when your partner doesn't see the value in you and continuously hurts you by searching for something in others knowing it hurts you?

What happens?

There is another scenario:

If my “partner” didn’t see value in me and hurt me searching for something in others, I would remind myself that I cannot change people, “make them see” or “make them love me”.

What is unattractive about a nice guy? Why do some women don’t choose nice guys?

I believe this non-love is the best I can do and spend all my time and energy attempting to preserve the very thing that causes me pain.

I would leave this partner to grant him full freedom to go find whatever he is looking for and spend the time and energy that I put into that relationship getting to know myself. What I would find is someone flawed and worthy of love.

“Making someone love me” is the most painful, most fruitless of efforts, because love cannot be manufactured in this way.

Why are white men so obsessed with Asian women? I'm friends with people from all different backgrounds but I never see my other non-white male friends obsess over or talk about Asian women like I've seen the white ones do.

I would work hard at only being interested in people who are equally interested in me.

In one scenario, I stay with this partner, wonder why he doesn’t love me, and begin living in a world of my creation where I believe that, unfortunately, I am not worth loving.

I would realize that it’s not my partner who is hurting me. I am hurting myself, by agreeing to stay with someone who is looking for something he is not finding in me.

We white women don't like white men. Do you have any issue with that?

I would ask myself why I consider it worth my time to be with someone who does not find me valuable. Identifying this answer will over time protect me from finding myself in this same predicament over and over.